So I started this blog over a year ago to keep as a private journal in an attempt to track my feelings, thoughts and progress as I lose weight. However as I encountered my own continued frustrations with attempting to lose weight I never really felt inspiration to blog, especially when there was no positive result. I am actually a pretty introverted person and do not like opening up to too many people, especially regarding something as personal as my weight. I have always been embarrassed about it and a bit apprehensive to
really talk about it. But that has all changed now! I have lost
28 pounds since last August and want to lose more by my 30th birthday on April 22. Because of this progress and the encouragement to lose more I feel now, more than ever, it is important for me to put myself out there as I attempt to lose weight.
Ever since I can remember I have struggled with my weight and have been trying to reach that point where I am
both happy and healthy in regards to my weight. I have had many issues with my weight over the years and it has been a constant struggle. From lacking self-confidence because I was overweight and therefore having a lot of social awkwardness thus resulting in me being a loner throughout high school, to being thrown into a very social setting and losing over 75 pounds because I ate very little my first year in college and lost it way too quickly that I was ill-equipped mentally to handle the sudden weight loss, to finally putting myself out there and developing the confidence in myself while also slowly putting the weight back on over many years, to now being happy with the person I have become but extremely unhappy with my weight and ready to make a permanent and
HEALTHY change.
I have yet to find a balance with just being healthy in regards to my weight and happy with who I am. It may sound silly to people who have not had serious problems with their weight over a long period of time but it can be hard to get through the mental part of losing weight. When I had lost all my weight in college, I still unfortunately saw my self as the girl before I lost the weight. I was so use to seeing just the weight and “that” person who was overweight that I could not shake that image from my head. Looking back at pictures I realize how thin I was, but at the time I
truly only saw the distorted image of a girl that I had seen my entire life. During that time I also developed many unhealthy habits like just not eating or eating the wrong foods. As I began to find out who I was and gain more confidence through the support of my family and now husband I started feeling more comfortable in my body and with people around me and started socializing more and opening myself up to new relationships with people…however I began to feel too comfortable. I was in a great relationship with T., graduated from college, had a job, had some new friendships in my life and as a result started slacking in taking care of myself due to changes in my eating habits and limited working out.
Now, as my 30th birthday approaches I know I need to make a change for myself and focus on what is good for me and I feel that it is the best time for me to make this permanent lifestyle change. I have an amazing husband, a wonderful family, a fantastic sister, caring friends, a comfortable home, a steady job but what is missing is a positive body image. I feel as I transition into this new phase in my life, I
really need to take the time to become healthy in the truest form. T & I
both need to eat better and work out even if it is just a little bit every day. I don’t want to have problems that are associated with being overweight for a long period of time, I also want to be healthy when I get pregnant, and I want to be a role model for my kids in every way possible. Now by
no means do I think to be a good role model means I need to be “thin”, infact that is the complete opposite of what I mean as I feel a good role model is someone is comfortable with who they are, I just feel no matter how much or how little weight I lose I want to be
healthy and also feel better about myself. I feel that I need to resolve any negative issues I have with my weight & body as I would hate to project any of that on my future children. This mental “demon” has been following me around for way too long and I need to get rid of it.
So what is my goal? HEALTHY.
(You will see this word a lot on the blog) What is healthy in regards to weight lost, I really don’t know. Maybe 10 more pounds? 30? 50? It is more about working out regularly and eating healthy. Of course I have an idea of what I would like to weigh and/or the size I would like to be however I have learned over the years as this has always been my main focus, that it is not so much about the numbers but just that feeling of being healthy and fit and for me to be proud of who I am not just on the inside but also on the outside. So since I have less than 90 days till my 30th birthday my first, of many, goals is to simply start this process now so that when I turn 30 I am well on my way of becoming a healthier Jenn.
Goal 1: Develop my healthy habits. Work out 5 days a week for at least 30-40 minutes each day. Eat smaller, healthier portions of food.
(You can see my goals on the side of the blog. I will also notify you when I feel I have reached those goals.)
So what is the goal of this blog? I really want to use the blog as motivation for myself to keep going. I hope that by putting myself out there like this it will encourage me to keep going and to also track my progress
(I do not want to disappoint my loyal readers by not losing weight, hehe). I also would like it to be a place for others who want to lose weight, get healthy, or just encourage others to gather and share their thoughts/progress. It matters not what your goal is, I just want to share a struggle so many of us have and use this public forum as a place to encourage everyone! I plan on putting up many questions, tips, articles, and progress reports on a daily basis to help everyone!
So lets see what happens and here's to getting healthy!!!
